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Friday, 15 January 2016

School For Hookers (1973)

School For Hookers (1973)
The B-side to this diseased double feature is School For Hookers. Matilda, Sandy and Silvia are a trio of bitter, hygiene-challenged hookers.
("Fuck all men, they.re all jackoffs!") They lay around masturbating with soda bottles. "We're just not making it as whores." complains Sandy.
Oral sex is a big part of their problem. "I try it, but I gag, I choke and then I throw up!" explains Silvia.
The girls decide to call up "Linda Lovewhip, a credited master throat specialist". Linda promises to teach them how to inhale penis.
She offers a "Pay as you Lay plan". She makes her students munch on her cabbage patch, barking orders like a general: "Keep lapping! Pretend you're Mark Spitz!".
The gals watch porno loops featuring bondage and endless shots of women smiling into the camera as torrents of spunk are unloaded into their faces.
Finally Linda drags out a bunch of smirking, inbred-looking cretins (the type who look like they hang out in the MenĂ¢'s Room of bus terminals).
Our cock-drunk kittens eagerly gulp down dick as Linda Lovewhip chants, "Suck, suck, lick, lick!".
"I donĂ¢'t choke anymore!" squeals Silvia. When the lights went on in the Dragon Art, there wasn't a dry eye (or seat) in the house.



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